eyes like sin

9:39pm: post call
i decided that your senior resident is like your mom. she tells you what to do all the time. and you have to do it even if  you dont want to. but those moments when you find yourself stranded, shes there to back you up and scoop you out of the shit. its a love hate thing

im post call. this being the first time ive ever been on call. ever.

i hate it. granted most days i think to myself, why am i here? like here specifically. why didnt i rank easier places higher. why am i on call. why didnt i just become a salesperson at anthropologie or jcrew so i could have a store discount and look fabulous? id probably have a better time of meeting a guy that way too. i mean sure. great. im a doctor. but im a doctor in a heirarchy. and im the one with the lowest standing. 

god im tired. 

there are things that you dont realize you cant do when you havent gotten any sleep. like, higher exective brain function and multitasking. i ask ppl to repeat things all the time. i forget what floor im on. and my eyes burn. theyre dry. i cant figure out if its bc of the weather out in the IE (inland empire) or if my eyes just arent used to being open for that many hours of the day. maybe both. first thing i walked outside my eyes started tearing uncontrollably. it probably looked like i was crying, except minus the red nose, sobbing hiccups, and splotchy face. and also, it was just one eye. and then that one stopped. then the other one joined in on the fun. 

i gotta shower. then back to work again in the AM

i really hate this. its not even the worst of it. but i really hate it.

4:22pm: on your mark...

so i was really worried about starting internship. esp since i was starting on ccu (critical care unit). its essentially really serious cardiology cases. and im a bit rusty on my cardiology (understatement). plus im really reluctant to start *actually* working. so overall im very resistent to this whole process in my own special way. i mean im excited to be starting residency, but...yeah. 

the good thing is, i started today. but my team was post call. so essentially its like a half day of work from my perpective. and by work i mean smiling and looking pretty. plus...bc of the way the schedule works, i get the weekend off. and i go in to work on mon at 2pm. then i get essentially 3 days off. then i work one day again. then three days off. it doesnt keep on going like this, but its really sweet how it worked out at least in the beginning. so im really easing into the whole process. 

granted after this week of like no work, it all turns to shit for the following three weeks. but then after that i get to do outpatient clinic, and thats not terrible. its boring and tedious as hell, but theres no overnight call and i get weekends off. yay!

6:22pm: picture time!
sometime last night my aunt and uncle came by to talk about my cousin re: matriculation to csulb. they brought along with them copies of photos that were taken at my graduation dinner here in tokyo. i dont know if its a japanese thing or if its a suzuki-in thing, but for some reason when you request copies of photos 1)they give you paper copies despite my preference for computer media 2) they only give you the shots that include you. its a bit frustrating since id like to have pictures of other family members that might have been camera shy or for whatever reason took a photo that didnt include me. i mean, thats realistic right? i might be narcissistic but im not bad enough that i try to include myself in EVERY shot. that said, my grandmother was flipping through the book an was saying: oh, koniichan is so beautiful, shes so pretty, she looks good in every shot...eh?!? why dont i have a picture with koniichan?!? 

i wasnt there for this conversation. i was in my room lying down bc my stomach hurt (from overeating yet again). all i heard was a crescendo in the conversation followed by shuffling footsteps...

is koniichan asleep? ::shuffle shuffle shuffle::: where is she? koniichan? oh! are you asleep?
no. im just lounging
i want to take a picture. 
now?
yes. now. with you.

mind you this is 10pm. mind you my grandmother was in her home-wear mumu all day long. even though we had visitors (my aunt and uncle) at some point. so all of the sudden there was this flurry of getting dressed, putting on makeup and finding jewelry. also, i might add at this point that we had curry tonight which explains the indigestion on my part, and i had rubbed my eyes while lounging and could feel a distinct chilli like burning which makeup cant hide. nice.

regardless. at 1030 pm, the night before im to leave and i should be packing it was picture time!!

ps. she like the picture time so much, that this morning, groggy and with lingering indigestion, i was informed we are going to have another picture time right before i leave for the airport. picture time!

3:12pm: yokoso!

im in japan right now...its 5:15AM and ive been up since 4AM. but ive also been asleep since 5pm last night. go me.

flight was uneventful. slept a litte. not enough. the best part of the flight were the announcements. there was this one flight attendant who was obviously not a native speaker who was making the japanese announcements mixed in with the english ones. this is funny bc 1) after every english announcement there is a more official japanese one made by a native speaker and 2) she has such a thick american accent that even i could hear it. every time shed come on my mom and i started cracking up. its difficult to describe, but i just know that even im not THAT bad. granted. shes more fluent than i am, so i give her props. esp at the end of the flight when she decided to display her multi-fluency by saying thank you in every language known to man. it was kind of cute. 

the other cute thing is that when we went through immigration my mom points out that we are "oyako" which means mother and child. this isnt unusual, its a common term, but in my mind its always first associated with oyako-don. which is a japanese menu item: chicken omlette over rice. get it? chicken omlette = mother and child. 

ok maybe its only funny bc i was perpetually tipsy the whole flight (mimosas/white whine/ jack and ginger). as a result i found everything amusing.

12:31am: happy valentines day!!!
valentine's day was a productive day for me (bc i have no one).  

 

9:09pm: beadage

over the years ive accumulated a lot of materials at home for beading but i have nothing in chicago. so when i come home i tend to bead bc i love it and i never really have the opportunity otherwise (with all that damn studying im supposed to be doing)

anyway since ive been home i had some projects that i had in mind to do...and also i was commissioned to make a few pieces.  so heres some of the fruits of my labor

7:09pm: new hotness


( enter )

8:56pm: frat boy girl

ive been told i live like a frat boy. and the funny thing is, i dont take offense to it. rather i think its a very accurate way of describing my living habits. really, if anyone should take offense...it should be frat boys. but seriously, no one ever believes me. they assume that girls are these pristine creatures that dont eat over the sink or let garbage stand for over a week bc they are too lazy to brave the 20 degree weather for all 5 seconds it takes to walk over to the dumpster directly outside of my apt. but these are just hypotheticals of course. the point is, when i say that im too busy to go out bc i need to clean my apt, i really do mean that its gonna take me all night, and several hours the next day to get the place halfway decent (at least by my moms standards). but they say that a picture is worth a thousand words...so ill just shutup now.

 

( before and after )

12:13am:

Friends Only